Ready, Set, Embark

So, I get up today and I ask myself:

"If you had a blog, who would even read and follow it?"

I've been thinking about blogging for a couple weeks now. It's something new to me, ( and I'm not up to date on any fancy blogger-lingo, so please bear with me. ) and I think it'll provide some sort of release on my day to day stresses and strife.

 

 "WHERE DO I EVEN START?"

I guess it's not really about where to start, just as long as there is a start.

I recently met a woman I now work with who has done so much in her life, and she is still fairly young, and she told me the only way I can achieve my goals is if I put myself out there. This is my outreach.

Hi. My name is Patricia Bayton, but everyone just calls me Pj (unless you're my gma or old, or family, or old family members.) I'm 19 living in Cincinnati, OH.

"To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe."

                                                  Anatole France

I dream of packing up, shipping out to California, meeting some famous name who can help me make it big and then chopping it up from there. But I'm stuck in Cincinnati at three different jobs, working 6/7 days a week, over 54 hours a week, living paycheck to paycheck, and no foreseeable end to this cycle anytime soon. But I still have my hope, I still have my ambition, and I won't let anything stop my drive for happiness. I have many talents, but I don't always capitalize on them. Sometimes when you hear a whole bunch of no's, it can make you shift your position ....which isn't always a bad thing.

 I wanted to be an artist, but I didn't feel like I had the exceptional vision I saw the other artists around me had, so I let that go. I can still draw and doodle and paint, but I wish I had continued those studies.

I love theater. I wasn't an outstanding thespian when I first got into high school. At home and basically any other place other than in front of directors or onstage I could act my heart out. But when it came to auditions, I sounded like a duck. That's so frustrating you can't even imagine. So I was a chorus girl, or I painted the sets, or ran the lights, or did cast makeup, or moved scene changes or built set pieces. Somehow I was always involved.

I played instruments in the band, and I played for like 8 years, but after high school I haven't been able to pick up an instrument. I do my best to keep reminding myself how to read music and play. I'd love to pick it back up. That'd be just wonderful.

I can sing, but that is something I always back out of. I've made many videos I promise myself I'll post and I'll be proud of no matter what, but they've never graced the world wide web. Maybe I could muster up and just do it, even just once, and put myself out there. 

Music was always a main focus growing up, and even though modeling for me is held in high acclaim, music will always be my first love. Maybe after I'm established in Hollywood or wherever, I can again venture down that path.

Then along came modeling. I didn't always want to model. In fact, I originally -for a career-wanted to be a Forensic Anthropologist. But I found myself leaning toward fine arts, rather than liberal.  My mom said to me one day, "you know you'd be pretty good at modeling, you do it so well around the house." And thus the spinning of the complex dream I have now today was rendered.

 

My biggest dream is to become a VS Angel, but above all that, an inspiring household name. What girl doesn't dream of being the center of someone's fantasy? What girl doesn't want to help set the standard for class and elegance and mass appeal? What girl doesn't dream of walking down a runway wearing those famous pair of wings you could only wish to strap on?

I know there are many girls who are okay with being lost in their books and their studies, who are into makeup and photography, girls who would rather make potions or pick at brains with their tongue twisters, and girls who can protect us all and girls who are masterminds behind a keyboard. But I want to be that girl on that poster in your best friend's basement, and that girl on the billboard near the mall,and that girl on the cover of your favorite magazine. I'd much rather be that girl who changed someone's life for an instance, who made someone come out of their shell, who inspired someone to do something amazing, or who pushed someone to be their best, but I can barely do those things for myself. Through the modeling industry I can be a silent, yet fierce force of walking attitude and spunk. When they see me, I don't jumble on my words or fumble with any answers, they just see me and I feel invincible. I don't have to always worry about saying the right or wrong thing, because through my strut or my pose, they don't have to ask. Now, I'm not saying I can walk better than Heidi, or smize better than Tyra, but I've had good training and I take it seriously, because it's a trade I'm passionate about. There is ALWAYS room for improvement, and if someone can help me be better and help me move forward in this career, I say CALL ME. And though I talk about being a silent model, I'm far from mute. I know how to speak to people, but who never stutters, or trips over their own tongue? My weakness is my mind flies faster than my mouth and it trips me up. I have 3 different jobs, all dealing directly with customers and customer service, and I like these jobs only because I know it will further my experience with dealing and talking to different types of people, and what to say in different situations. I think of it as practice for payment. I want to conquer my weakness and I hope to build up to being a spokesperson for a great company someday.

With all the dreams in the world, no one was discovered unless they put themselves out there.

"Closed mouths don't get fed"

This is my first step. This is me leaping. This is my outreach.

Get ready, get set, embark. 

Thanks for reading,

xoxo

-Pj